Navigating Workplace Dynamics with Confidence: Shaping Professional Opinions in the C-Suite
You’ve gone far in your career, and made it to the C-suite. As an executive, you know this is no small feat, and as a woman, you know that it is even more of an accomplishment. At this point in your career, you may find yourself wondering how to best balance workplace dynamics with your own reputation management. Having a narcissistic mother may have helped motivate you in your career thus far, but you may also find it gives you pause about how your ingrained habits from childhood may negatively impact your presence and presentation as an executive.
You can learn from your past, finding the ways that toxic patterns from your childhood have persisted into your adulthood, and can make change by deliberately setting goals for yourself on how you want to participate in, and manage your reputation in, the C-suite.
Navigating Workplace Dynamics
You’ll encounter many different workplace dynamics as a member of the C-suite, and tailoring your presence within those dynamics can take some planning and intentional choice. This is particularly important when keeping in mind any tendencies you may have toward people-pleasing, fawning, or self-doubt from being raised by a narcissistic mother.
Challenge: Sexism in the workplace, particularly focused on women in executive positions.
Solution: Look at organizational changes to combat sexism in the workplace, and focus on those, versus individual changes in how you present yourself.
You may find yourself in work situations where you are directly contradicted, talked down to, or excluded because you are a woman. These experiences can be frustrating and demoralizing, but are not experiences you have to accept.
Make a choice as to how you want to present yourself in your workplace, and stick to it. There will likely be people who think you are being too confident, not confident enough, too friendly, not friendly enough, too competent, incompetent, possibly all of these at the same time. You may feel you need to perpetually manage how others in your work feel about you, as a leftover from having a narcissistic mother. However, you can’t fully control what people say or think about you. You can control how you present yourself, and doing so in a way that feels authentically professional, and suits you, is the best way to consistently influence the impression you give off.
Pay attention to gendered expectations and subvert them. Look at tasks that might be foisted off on the women in the room, and either reject them as your responsibility, or delegate them so they’re everyone’s responsibility. Note taking, refreshments handling, event planning, etc. can often be considered “women’s work”. In fact it is merely work, which should be done equally regardless of gender. Setting this kind of precedent can be early reputation management in a C-suite, demonstrating what you will tolerate and how you work.
To directly combat sexism as it affects you at work, you can manage your reputation in your workplace as someone who is proactive against institutionalized sexism; advocating for these changes can create a top-down shift in workplace culture. These changes will both directly benefit you, and make changes for your company that are decidedly profitable, along with being ethical. Companies with female executives are known to be higher performing companies. You’re bringing improvement to the table when you bring forth change.
Challenge: Navigating complex and sometimes hostile power dynamics in the workplace as a woman and an executive
Solution: Be firm, advocate for yourself, and show up for your staff
Power dynamics can show up in one-on-one interactions with other executives, or in your interactions with subordinates. Either way, avoiding power struggles and subverting them into collaboration can be a valuable way to develop a professional reputation in competence.
For dynamics with your peers in the C-suite, keep in mind, they are your peers. They are not your superiors, and so any friction between you should be handled with them approaching you as a peer. If they can not or will not do so, you don’t have to entertain the interaction. You are no longer a child facing down a narcissistic mother, you’re a peer to your fellow executives and can state the terms of interaction with them. Be firm, and calm, and know you can find your own voice when advocating for yourself.
For subordinates, consider being willing to roll up your sleeves and pitch in, or at least take an interest in the work that goes on in your company. You’ll impress your subordinates and create a culture of showing up for your company. This balance of higher level management with coordination with lower level employees shows that you, while powerful in your position at work, understand that there’s power in what workers do. This is an effective way to manage your reputation in the workplace as a fair and effective manager who knows what’s actually going on in the company.
Methods for Reputation Management in the C-Suite
Your work reputation is valuable, and you can take a lot of steps to manage your reputation in your career:
Cultivating executive presence
Put your best foot forward; being timely, well groomed, and on top of remembering agendas and meeting topics will make you shine as a person who is put-together enough to be well worth having in the C-suite for a company.
Find ways to involve yourself in C-suite activities that involve networking; connections forged outside of the office can be invaluable in the office. Note that this can slide into perfectionism and anxiety if taken too far. You need to trust yourself, trust your choices and your ability to learn from any mistakes you might make.
Build credibility with effective communication
Consider your communication style; does your conversation style indicate you’re paying attention to who you’re speaking with? Does your email etiquette indicate you take seriously how you’re interacting with those you’re messaging? Disconnected executives who consider those around them less-than are both common, and waste their company’s time with their lackadaisical attitude.
You may find that your communication quality falters when faced with hostile interaction; this is a throwback to experiences with your narcissistic mother. Consider learning from your past, as a way to ensure your communication style doesn’t veer you into defensive or self-defeatist tones. Take note of where and who you are, here and now. You’re not a child trapped in an emotionally charged household. You’re an adult who can advocate for herself, and do it well.
Professional development
You may find yourself anxious at the prospect of keeping up with expectations in a fast-paced, highly changeable executive world. Self-doubt and perfectionism were both ingrained in you by your narcissistic mother. But instead of fear, try to foster curiosity; what is working, and where is it working? Can you implement it where you are? What’s next? Cut fear off at the pass and shift it to curiosity and trust in your skills to find the right answers for yourself and your company.
Connect yourself to those in your industry who can keep you up to date. Networking has value, and your position in your company speaks to your own value as well. Keep up with the trends in your sector; the upcoming technology, the next steps for executive management work, what is happening now and what is coming up.
Be discerning. Shysters come along at every level, and remaining curious and incisive about what you see up and coming will put you ahead of those who are happy to just adopt what looks flashy and is presented as easy.
West Hartford Counseling & Coaching Can Help Strategize Executive Career Moves With You
At West Hartford Counseling & Coaching, I work most often with professional women, particularly professional women who have narcissistic mothers. I can offer support, planning, and consideration in my therapy services to professional women, including those in the C-suite. Feel free to schedule a 15 minute consultation today to see what I can do for you.