You’re Not Making it up: Affirmations for the Holidays
During the holidays, families often come together, show one another their love and appreciation, and feel a sense of belonging and security. Or at least that’s the dream, right? Narcissistic or borderline parents, however, might feel the holidays are to blame for losing their attention. This may cause them to use manipulative tactics, perpetrate aggressive attacks, and intensify conflicts when they feel less important than they should be. Sound familiar?
Due to the constant reminder of traumatizing experiences, women who have experienced narcissistic and borderline abuse may face additional challenges throughout the holiday season. The holiday season may be a time of profound sadness or dread as they mourn the loss of the family they wished they had or feel lost without the deeply ingrained traditions their peers grew up with.
Holiday Loneliness and What to Do About It
Holidays can be lonely for everyone, even if family members surround them. Loneliness can compound holiday stress, regardless of how surrounded or distant the person is from their family or the level of “no contact” they have with abusive or toxic members. Of course, spending time with others that you have positive relationships with can help you cope with holiday loneliness, although they may not always be available. Here are some additional considerations for when it’s just you.
Embrace your feelings. Even when you feel sad or lonely, remind yourself that your feelings are legitimate and that you don’t have to force yourself to be happy. Remember, these feelings won’t last forever! We also recommend avoiding alcohol or other substances to numb or avoid your feelings. These substances can make you feel even more anxious or depressed than before.
Plan something to look forward to. Even if your holidays no longer feel the same, you can create new traditions to practice alone or in the company of other friends who are also alone. As your new habits develop, these holidays will become even more memorable.
During the holidays, share your truths with your close friends, especially when you feel lonely. If you can’t get any time face-to-face, consider writing them a note or scheduling a check-in call. Focusing on these relationships will strengthen them and remind you that you are not alone during the holiday season.
What are the Most Powerful Affirmations for Women?
Understandably, you might be worried if your parents unexpectedly come over or plan to visit this year. There’s a good chance the house won’t be clean enough, the food won’t meet their standards, and they’ll make snide remarks about the quality of your clothes or even bring up your portion sizes. The pressure of keeping up is exhausting every time they raise the bar higher! These affirmations will remind women that they possess significant strength and unique qualities despite experiencing narcissistic and borderline abuse.
Despite my ability to make errors, I know they will not lessen the value I place on myself
High self-esteem enables me to eliminate controlling and manipulative people from my life
The only person who can dictate my life’s path is me
My self-worth is something that I determine for myself
I am complete, whole, and perfect
It is a pleasure for others to be around me
I contribute to improving this world by being myself
I deserve to have my deepest desires fulfilled
If I start feeling overly stressed or anxious, I will allow myself to step away
Why Should Women Use Daily Affirmations?
A daily affirmation routine can build self-esteem, decrease stress, and help you feel more confident, optimistic, and content. Besides affirming positive thoughts, saying these powerful statements out loud can transform your internal monologue from helplessness to self-determination. Affirmations can harness your mind’s power to direct your intentions toward your most authentic self and your happiest life and to improve your health, reduce depression, and solve problems more effectively. The power of affirmations lies in their ability to calm nerves and increase your chances of success. To reach your goals, you should incorporate affirmations into your arsenal of tools.
What Can I Do?
We may be biased in saying so, but we believe therapy is an absolute gift if you feel lonely or like no one understands you. When we say we know what you are struggling with, it’s because we’ve been in your shoes with our narcissistic or borderline parents. So, you can count on us for unconditional, nonjudgmental support, affirmation of your truths, and compassionate listening. Those who need therapy can find it at West Hartford Counseling Center in the form of individual therapy or group therapy, so they have the chance to meet others with similar experiences. If you have any questions, please don’t hesitate to contact us to schedule your free 15-minute consultation by calling (860) 385-1574 or visiting our website.